Among the powerhouse summer movies of 2012 like ‘The Avengers’, ‘The Dark Knight Rises’, ‘The Amazing Spider-Man’, and ‘Snow White and the Huntsman’, ‘Battleship’ came along seeking to break through to the big leagues. Unfortunately, a terrible script, titanic-sized plotholes, and awful characterization has left it floating upside down and ready to be flushed down the toilet.

‘Battleship’ was not shy about its origins or its intentions in its advertisements. Hasbro proudly left its mark on the film and promised a glorious battle with special effects that attempt to rival Michael Bay’s Transformers franchise.

However, while Michael Bay is one of the most heavily criticized filmmakers in the business, the man does his homework and ‘Battleship’, whose producers share this film and Bay’s films, obviously tried to emulate him. Despite your opinion on the quality of Bay’s work, he is good at two things: one, excellent action sequences; two, genuinely funny dialogue. ‘Battleship’ tries to pull these things off and fumbles magnificently at both.

For those who may not know the so-called plot, ‘Battleship’ is about a race of aliens from a planet codenamed G who have come to Earth to conquer it. The government discovered Planet G and sent out a signal via satellite to analyze its surface to see if it could possibly have life or be hospitable for human beings.

Apparently, this signal attracted the aliens and they sent five enormous ships to Earth. One of them, the communication ship, crashed into Hong Kong, meaning that the aliens could not communicate with their brethren in space. Therefore, they took over the command center in Hawaii that sent the first signal and planned to use it to contact reinforcements.

Meanwhile, three other battle cruisers engaged the U.S. Navy and Japanese Navy in combat for unknown reasons. These ships are where the main protagonist, Alex Hooper (Taylor Kitsch), and his brother, Stone Hooper (Alexander Skarsgard), struggle to survive as they are woefully outmatched by the alien’s technology and weaponry.

It is hard to pinpoint all the reasons why this movie is lousy, but we’ll start with the obvious one—the plot. There are plotholes the size of canyons in this film. We can start with the fact that the aliens are never identified nor do they even speak to each other. Thus, they are painted as barbarian monsters with only one purpose in mind—conquering the world. However, the way they go about trying to conquer the world is perhaps the most illogical thing I’ve seen since ‘Cowboys & Aliens’.

The aliens only attack three ships and it is never explained why they target these vessels, nor why they decided to use missiles when the gigantic orbs they possess can sink a ship in mere minutes. They are also implied to use some sort of analysis similar to the Predator where they only attack things that present a threat, but that is immediately contradicted because they attack the Earth and its inhabitants’ military with no provocation.

The next major problem is the inept characterization of our main character, Alex Hooper. He is not a likable fellow and he barely develops by the end of the film. Taylor Kitsch is a decent actor, as is shown in the woefully underrated ‘John Carter’ (2012), but he has almost nothing to work with due to a cliché-riddled script that even ‘Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen’ (2009) would laugh at.

Most of his character traits are told through other characters instead of shown and so they have little impact on the audience. The character is so predictable, irrational, and unlikable that we feel no real concern for him as he gets kicked around by the aliens.

The third problem lies in the characterization and actions of the U.S. Navy. The real-life Navy cooperated with the filmmakers and somehow was blind to the fact that they made the entire branch seem like a bunch of idiot children. Through the course of the film, we are led to believe these are trained professionals and yet they make rookie mistakes at every turn.

For instance, after destroying part of the alien ships, the crew pulls one of the aliens on board. Alex decides to pull off its helmet to see what they’re dealing with and yet none of them think to ready their weapons in case the alien is still alive. Predictably, it wakes up and causes havoc that they are unable to stop because none of them are armed. This is basic common sense and these people do not utilize it at any point in the film.

The only things of merit in this movie are the special effects, which feature enough explosions to make Michael Bay blush, and a few decent action sequences. The acting ranges from okay to downright terrible, the dialogue is stuffed to the gills with clichés, and the plot is ridiculous at best and trite at worst.

Furthermore, there are two things that add insult to injury. First, the amazing Liam Neeson is advertised non-stop in the trailers and yet only has about ten minutes of screen time in the entire film. Second, no one says, “you sunk my battleship.” For a movie that claims to be self-aware and does not take itself seriously, that is criminal.

The low quality of ‘Battleship’ comes as no surprise, though. It opened second at the box office on May 18 with a measly $25 million and will sink to the depths of the movie theater in the coming weeks. Good riddance.

Grade: 2/5

Image Courtesy of   Battleship

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Director Peter Berg and his production partner Sarah Aubrey were excited that their dream of making a nautical adventure was finally coming to fruition with ‘Battleship’, and they knew it would be epic. “The game allowed us the opportunity to do our modern naval-battle movie,” Aubrey explains.

“Most naval movies are period, because in this day and age, you don’t often have pitched battles at sea. We have not seen the modern Navy in its full glory on screen, with these ships and weaponry, in this kind of scope and scale.”

While the filmmakers had their title character, they needed to craft a story, replete with tested heroes and the mysterious enemy whom they would encounter on the high seas. Berg explains: “This idea of having naval warships battle aliens came to me one day. I knew that the only way the film would succeed is if it worked as a character story. The CG and the spectacle would then support the characters.”

Berg looked to ‘Red’ writers Erich and Jon Hoeber to partner with him. The brothers sat with Berg in spring 2009 to pitch themselves as the project’s screenwriters. “The alien aspect was in our first pitch: Navy saves the world from an invasion,” they explain. “We started with a blank slate.

Pete tore our pitch apart, but there was spitballing and collaboration. Once we got the gig, we wrote an elaborate treatment over the summer and the first draft that fall. Throughout the development, we had great synchronicity. Pete’s a quarterback with bottomless energy who brought a lot of big ideas. We did a lot of brainstorming about what we wanted the film to feel like and what the main structural elements should be. Then we created the characters and the dramatic situations.”

The writers were drawn to bring to life a naval epic that hit the hallmarks of the game while introducing a complex alien attack, commenting: “The idea of being able to write a big naval action film was exciting. It’s been a long time since anyone made a film that so prominently featured the U.S. Navy. It was a rare opportunity. Plus, the opportunity to do that in a modern setting was extraordinary, with an enemy that we would fight toe-to-toe instead of lobbing cruise missiles at from miles off a coastline.”

In preparation for their script, the brothers delved into research mode, spending three days out at sea on an Arleigh Burke-class guided-missile destroyer, USS Preble.

They note: “What an incredible experience, watching this young crew in action; their professionalism, dedication and drive were truly inspiring. They gave us full run of the ship, and we quickly got familiar with their language, culture and details of the hardware they operate. They ran war scenarios for us that helped us to make things as realistic as possible for both the story and characters.”

The writers worked with Berg to explore what would happen if an alien race responded to a series of interstellar transmissions from NASA to a “Goldilocks planet” in another galaxy. Known as “Planet G,” this planet to which the NASA scientists have been transmitting for six years is a mirror image of our own world.

The logic is that if a planet is too far from its sun, the world is too cold to sustain life; if a planet is too close to its sun, it is too hot to allow for the growth of flora and fauna. This “just right” planet with which we’ve been communicating is similar to ours and able to hold water at the right mass to sustain an atmosphere and therefore life. And unfortunately for Earth, its inhabitants have come to take our resources.

Aubrey reports that as the screenplay developed, the team found an organic way to introduce the game concept. They were not only able to bring, organically, the title character into the mix, but also to set up three other ships equipped for battle under an impenetrable field that was 300,000 feet in altitude and two nautical miles wide.

She says: “Pete came up with the idea that our ship is operating blind, like in the game. All of their radar capability has been taken away early on in a fight with the aliens. As a result, our heroes are hunting the enemy in the dark. So, Hopper and Nagata have to quickly figure out how to track the alien fleet—without radar—so they can strike them as they bombard the vessel. As Hopper is struggling with a solution, Nagata explains a tactic that his countrymen have used before to locate ships in the Pacific.”

In their research, Berg and the writers discovered that tsunami buoys exist along the Hawaiian coastlines, and their function is to triangulate water disbursement. Aubrey explains what that meant for the script: “Buoys measure water displacement as an early tsunami-warning system for those living along these vulnerable coastal areas.

Nagata uses them to quickly map out a grid, which comes up on his ship’s radar screen, simulating the grid of the board game itself. It’s a fun way to get the audience to recognize that familiar grid and that we’re playing ‘Battleship.’”

Image Courtesy of   Battleship

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At its core, ‘Battleship’ is a story of strategy that engages audiences. Hasbro CEO Brian Goldner reflects: “No matter whom you’re playing in ‘Battleship,’ you’re sizing your opponent up, both from a personality standpoint as well as strategically.

It was that face-off that intrigued us, because that’s the mark of the brand and what has made the game popular around the globe for so many years. That sense that you and your opponent are strategizing against the blind reveal is so critical to the game play. We knew we could make a film story around that.”

Several years ago, Goldner had recruited film executive Bennett Schneir with the goal of tapping into Schneir’s expertise to develop movie franchises and tent poles from Hasbro’s catalogue.

Schneir says: “We looked at the core of this property and recognized that ‘Battleship’ is a game of wits, intuition, logic and smarts as you try to figure out who your enemy is and win the day. We thought it had all of the elements for a huge, incredible movie. It’s cinematic, exciting and adventurous. To our filmmakers, the game was an incredible launching-off point.”

Addressing the skeptics, Schneir reflects: “It’s easy to ask, ‘Why do you need ‘Battleship’ to make a movie about ships versus aliens?’ You could also ask why you would need ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ to make a movie about pirates and skeletons, or why you would need ‘Transformers’ to make a movie about robots from space who come to Earth. There is so much in the core DNA of ‘Battleship’ that is a source of inspiration for filmmakers.

There are signposts along the way of the concept of the blind reveal, of knowing nothing and then knowing everything. The three-act-play structural experience of the game, the fantasy of game play, and how that translates into a movie became the canvas upon which our filmmakers painted their vision of the story.”

Like Goldner, Schneir approached the film’s development by underscoring what is unique about the game. “‘Battleship’ is a big part of our childhood and part of the family experience,” the producer says. “I like the notion of fighting against an enemy you can’t see. Little by little, the curtain is raised, and you learn where your enemy put his ships and where you should strike next. That’s what leads you to victory. Bringing that emotional connection to the big screen is powerful and compelling.”

Though its modern counterpart is the destroyer, the war machine known as the battleship was prominent in WWII and was in use until the first Iraq War in 1991.

Explains Stuber: “Battleships were defined by their power and muscle and built to take on shrapnel. They were giant ships with giant guns and thick hulls that had extraordinary power. They are the protectors of the fleet.  They’re like Secret Service agents: if an enemy fires, they step in front of the carrier and take the shell.

There’s something extraordinarily heroic about being the first dog in the fight. Within the fleet, there’s also the aircraft carrier, another amazing ship that is like an airport in the middle of the ocean.  Ultimately, it was the battleship’s job, and today, the destroyer’s, to protect that carrier.”

Echoes director Peter Berg’s production partner at Film 44, Sarah Aubrey: “Destroyers are magnificent pieces of machinery, run by incredibly smart and brave people. We thought it would be a great opportunity to showcase them within the context of this game that people have such an affinity for.

We take you inside of these massive oceangoing beasts. You will see their weapons, missiles, all of their muscular power. In our story, they’re the underdog. So we introduce this mighty Navy fleet steaming out to sea, unlike anything we’ve experienced in a movie.”

Image Courtesy of   Battleship

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When filmmaker Peter Berg signed on to develop and to helm ‘Battleship’ for Universal Pictures and Hasbro, he was conducting early research for another film about the U.S. Navy, a lifelong passion of his.

Hasbro president and CEO Brian Goldner and top company movie executive Bennett Schneir were keen to partner with the director, who had not only brought spectacle to the juggernaut ‘Hancock’ and action and drama to ‘Friday Night Lights’ and ‘The Kingdom’, but also harbored a deep passion for all things nautical since boyhood. Goldner shares: “Pete has such a love for these ships, the history of the Navy and being out at sea. We knew it would come across on the big screen.”

The action-adventure represents the culmination of a lifelong dream for the director, who often toured naval museums with his father. Berg says: “Battleship is a passion of mine because, as a kid, I spent so much time on ships, absorbing detailed histories about the great battles of WWII from my father.

When this fell into my lap, it didn’t take me long to find a take for the film—a contemporary story of an international fleet engaged in a very dynamic, violent and intense fight that’s chock-full of action-packed sea battles with big hardware and conflict. You can go anywhere in the world and say ‘Battleship’, and people will know it. In today’s market, that’s a big plus for turning a brand into a film.”

Berg had forged a fantastic relationship with this division of the armed forces, and that would serve him well as preproduction began. He shares: “The Navy liked the fact that their branch gets to save the world. The destroyer sailors liked that for the first time a movie’s focus wasn’t on an aircraft carrier.

If you talk to Navy destroyer crews, they are engaged in real fighting. Their kick-ass ships protect aircraft carriers.” Still, the movie’s title is a bit of a misnomer. Explains Berg: “Even though the film is called ‘Battleship’, actual battleships have been taken out of active naval duty and replaced with these bad boys—Aegis naval destroyers—the most lethal fighting ships on the planet.”

Sharing in production duties on ‘Battleship’ is Bluegrass Films producer Scott Stuber, himself the son of a naval veteran. The epic action-adventure represents his second project with Berg, after their 2007 collaboration, ‘The Kingdom’, and is the latest offering from the producer who brought audiences the blockbuster action-thriller ‘Safe House’.

Though the producer knew he was headed into an enormous production, he wasn’t daunted by the thought of ensuring that audiences would see a “complete naval fleet unleashed.” Stuber says: “Having worked with Pete before, I knew he would make a movie about a modern-day naval conflict with authenticity and excitement.”

Stuber offers that the game’s lack of narrative structure turned out to be a plus for its translation. “When you work on movies adapted from literature or comic books and such, the audience has predisposed notions of the characters’ arcs,” he says. “They visualize the story as they read it.

This is a whole different challenge, because we had to create characters. The fun of the game is the blind reveal, the strategy, me versus you. Conversely, it’s freeing not to begin with preexisting characters, because you aren’t restricted to what is spelled out in the source material. You can create that within the dynamic of the story, one that translates into a big action movie.”

The story of this source material is an interesting one indeed. In 1984, Hasbro purchased the Milton Bradley Company and inherited several global-brand-name toys and games, including “Battleship.” As one of the world’s premier toy manufacturers, Hasbro began strategizing about how to translate its popular brands into other mediums.

Under the leadership of Goldner for the past decade, Hasbro has successfully reinvigorated its classic brands. The company has reinvented them for a variety of new mediums, including blockbuster feature films, television, digital entertainment, publishing, consumer goods, licensing and retail.

After the blockbuster success of the toys-to-films ‘Transformers’ and ‘G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra’, Hasbro reviewed the catalogue and focused on “Battleship” as its first game-to-film. Still, the company knew it wouldn’t move forward until a crucial dilemma was resolved: how to logically transfigure a beloved property into a cohesive and entertaining motion picture.

Discussing the reasons to tackle this ambitious project with Berg’s team and Stuber, Goldner explains: “‘Battleship’ is a global brand that has been enjoyed for nearly 40 years in more than 30 countries.

It’s known as ‘Battleship,’ or ‘Naval Battles,’ everywhere around the world. People know the game play and understand the face-off nature of it. We knew we could take its compelling elements and play them out in a re-imagined manner. Plus, we believed that bringing the alien element into the property would make it contemporary and very universal.”

Image Courtesy of   Battleship

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